Shush your inner critic.

We talk to ourselves all the time. Our talking exists of thoughts in our heads. 70.000 thoughts run through our heads daily. Based on 6 hours of sleep, that would be 72 thoughts per minute. In average 98% of your thoughts are repetitions from the day before and 80 % are negative thoughts about others or ourselves. Woman in general have more negative self talk than men. 

Studies show the reason for this is that woman have often been raised in a culture that instills in them the idea that they should put everyone else’s needs before their own and feel ashamed of their bodies. Self-talk is a big contributor to the way how you feel about yourself. 

What you tell yourself daily is more powerful than you realise. Seemingly harmless jokes turn into destructive beliefs. Our thought turn into words, words turn into beliefs, beliefs become actions, our actions become habits and our habits become our realities. 

Everything bad you tell yourself discredit your worth and makes it hard to accept yourself fully and therefore makes it harder to enjoy your life and find happiness. So if you like to joke about your weight, you being stupid or still being single perhaps it's time you change that. 

"I'm not good enough.', ‘This doesn't look good on me at all!’, ‘Why is my hair so ugly?’, 'I am so stupid!', 'Why do I look so disgusting', 'Whats wrong with me?', 'I'm not lovable'. How can you feel good and accepting yourself fully if you are not kind to yourself? Indeed, you can not! If we talk in a negative way to ourselves we cause internal damage (as feeling depressed, uncertain or less) because your subconscious hears exactly what you say and your subconscious beliefs everything you say, it has no filter. 

On the other side according to the latest research, happiness occurs naturally when we are kind to ourselves. That's because if we talk kind to ourselves we produce the feel-good hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin generates feelings of trust, calm, safety, generosity, and connectedness.You will feel better, perform better and will have more confidence. 

So I'm inviting you to start talking more positive about yourself, let the Oxytocin roll baby. And if you feel weird and a liar to say "I love you, you're awesome" to yourself all of a sudden, I can relate to that. But you can alter your talking bit by bit. If you notice you talk in a negative way to yourself correct yourself. You can talk to yourself as if you talk to a friend: "Common on that's not nice, it's not that bad. I'm valuable and I matter. I'm willing to see myself better and better and I will succeed", or whatever feels as alignment with you and is moving to the directing of self acceptance. 

Another way to stop you for being too critical of yourself is this: When you catch yourself having a self-critical thought, stop, take three relaxed belly breaths and shift the position of your body. The combination of breathing and a change in your body position interrupts the pattern of criticism that’s been running in your brain. Then, give loving attention to yourself — make a new choice that feels good. You could even pick one hand and kiss it or give yourself a pat on the back. 

Keep the next rule in mind: if you wouldn’t say it to a loved one, don’t say it to yourself. Be kind to yourself. When we’re constantly focused on what’s wrong with us, we can’t make room for appreciating all that’s great about u and accept ourselves in all our glorie. Let's do this and let me know how you feel about this subject or about your progress. A big hug from Spain. XN

p.s. 

If you want more information about Personal Growth look at my website: https://nadebocoaching.com/

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